Losing your partner profoundly changes your life. Every aspect, from daily routines to future dreams, is affected. One often overlooked yet deeply impactful aspect is travel. When your partner passes away, the desire and ability to travel can feel dramatically altered. Perhaps you frequently travelled together, dreamed of future trips, or made cherished memories exploring the world.
My husband Jan and I travelled extensively. It was integral to our family life—a beautiful way to discover the world and build unforgettable memories with our children. When Jan died, he left a void not only in our daily lives but also in our future plans and dreams of travelling.
One year after Jan’s death, my daughters and I made a decision more significant than we could have imagined—we embarked on an eight-week journey through the United States. We knew the experience would be fundamentally different without him, but it felt crucial to prove to ourselves that we could still create new memories, even in his absence.
Travelling in the USA was straightforward and comfortable—everything worked, and we felt safe. Emotionally, however, it was an immense hurdle. I had to manage my grief while ensuring my children enjoyed the trip. The journey became a blend of tears and joy, symbolising our ability to travel and forge new memories without Jan—different memories, yet still meaningful.
However, from my professional experience as a grief coach, I understand that this isn’t easy for everyone. Many people find the idea of travelling without their partner overwhelming or even meaningless. They miss sharing experiences with their loved ones, and some struggle because they have no one to accompany them.
If you’re considering travelling again but find it daunting, here are three practical pieces of advice to help you take the first steps:
1. Start Small – Give Yourself Permission to Practice
When the thought of a lengthy trip feels overwhelming, start small. Begin with a weekend getaway or a short stay close to home. Perhaps invite a close friend or family member, or even travel alone if that feels right for you. The idea is to gently explore how it feels to travel again without the pressure of an extensive trip.
Initially, even small trips felt like significant victories for me. A weekend away with my daughters, a short break to familiar places—all helped me understand that life without Jan, though challenging, was still navigable.
2. Create New Travel Traditions – Without Guilt
After losing your partner, creating new traditions can often bring feelings of guilt or sadness. Yet, it’s important to remember that establishing new traditions doesn’t mean forgetting your partner; it’s about making space for your life to continue and honouring the past.
Perhaps you once travelled regularly to particular destinations, but now choose somewhere entirely new. You might change your travel style—switching from hotels to Airbnb or exploring alone. The essential thing is that you feel free to establish meaningful new traditions.
Our journey across the USA initiated a new travel tradition for us, deliberately choosing places we hadn’t visited with Jan. This approach allowed us to make memories that didn’t constantly remind us of our loss but instead encouraged us towards fresh, new experiences.
3. Stay Open to Community and New Connections
Losing your travel companion often amplifies loneliness. However, there are numerous ways to find new communities, even when travelling alone. Consider joining group tours, themed trips, or holidays that focus on specific interests or hobbies. These environments provide excellent opportunities to meet new people who share your interests.
You can also connect with travel communities online, where you can meet others travelling solo or those who have also experienced loss. This sense of community can make the idea of travelling again less intimidating.
During our US trip, we discovered how interactions with new people reignited our enjoyment of travel. These don’t need to become lifelong friendships—even brief encounters can remind you that life continues to offer wonderful moments and new connections.
Allow Space for Grief – Even While Travelling
A vital lesson I learned early on is that grief accompanies you wherever you go. It doesn’t vanish with a change of scenery. Hence, it’s important to allow yourself space to feel and express your emotions during your travels. It’s perfectly okay if you feel overwhelmed or sad occasionally. It doesn’t mean the trip is unsuccessful—it simply means you’re grieving, which is entirely natural.
Our journey allowed ample space for both tears and joy. This balance of grief and happiness reminded us that it’s possible—and meaningful—to continue living and travelling despite our loss, perhaps even because of it.
Travelling again after losing your partner requires courage, yet it can also be incredibly fulfilling and life-affirming. Travel may never feel the same, but it doesn’t need to. Life continues, and new memories await you.
You can still travel. You can still explore the world. And you can still create beautiful, meaningful memories—memories that hold significance even in the light of your loss.
